Blog on Blogging

#ThrowbackThursday to back in the day, when I had leftover brain cells at the end of each day to put together a sentence or two and throw 'em at the internet. It's been awhile, yes? A quick gander at my homepage indicates that "awhile" is euphemistic code for FIVE YEARS, which is half a decade, longer than it took for me to obtain a college degree, and almost exactly the amount of time it took me to conceive, carry, birth, and raise my now-four-year-old son and his little brot--

OH. Now it's all coming into focus. Babies and kids, that's where I've been. As I'm sure you've heard from anyone who has a kid or two or nine*, children are the number one destroyer of normal lives, sleep habits, bank accounts, household upholstery, and hobbies, especially hobbies that involve forming coherent sentences or the use of power tools. Some of my former hobbies, like cookie-baking and day-drinking, have stuck around, but really only out of necessity, because what else are you supposed to do when it's only 2:00 on a rainy Saturday afternoon in February and your three-year-old has already watched "Frozen" six times since dawn?

Due to a variety of factors, including "the first one is pretty awesome" and "our former lives are dead anyway," Lawyer Boy and I decided to have a second baby three years after the first was born, and the resulting baby boy rounded out my personal Tiny Army of Dudes, for whom I am more than happy to be Resident Girl and Queen Supreme.

So in the last five years, I've had a baby who's now a preschooler, and had a second baby who's now six months old. While that's been going on, the cat has gotten old enough that his legs have started making noises not unlike the popping of corn when he walks. Thanks to all of this, "Sunrise, Sunset" is on a pretty constant loop in my head, interrupted by the occasional Taylor Swift dance party or hard-won nap.

All of that said, I swear on a stack of baby sleep manuals that I will not turn this ridiculous corner of the internet into a Mommy Blog. I'm not slamming all the Mommy Blogs out there; I'm just saying that even people who love Mommy Blogs love to hate Mommy Blogs. Also, I think pretty much every one out there already sums up my feelings on parenthood: My children are the best; I would slap a puppy in exchange for one good night's sleep; and I hate Pinterest for making me feel inadequate even though I know that literally zero children are born expecting that sandwiches should always be crafted in the shape of their favorite cartoon characters.

Low expectations: Maybe that's a good way for me to go into my return to blogging. That way I don't feel obligated to write every day, or to change the background theme or photos on my site. If it happens to happen I'll be as excited as I will be the day the baby happens to sleep through the night.

*Stop. Stop now.