Last night I promised you a post about the TP Penitentiary, complete with pictures. True to my word, because I am an honorable little being, like a knight of the Round Table but with personal hygiene habits that do not involve dry-clean-only metal panties, I have already written that post. Howevz, I have been fumbled by my wireless company, which is refusing to spirit the pictures from my phone onto the intarwebz. I am not naming names, but if you wanted to become a knock-off service provider for less, you'd do well to trade under the name Horizon Wireless.
Actually, I like replacing the first part of their name with "Ho." It's just so appropriate, since I give them my money, and they in turn perform acts that are illegal in many states.
Anyway, hopefully I can smack the phone around enough and threaten to take away its dessert privileges for a week, so that by tomorrow, I'll be able to share the photos with you. Normally I am not particularly wedded to posting photos, but you need to see these photos to appreciate the story, just like when I gave you all those nice shots of my new driver's license photos. Can you imagine if I tried to do that one with words? "And next, I'm making a beaver face. My teeth look like giant slices of Wonderbread and I'm showing a bit too much of the whites of my eyes..." Just not as good.
I thought that, until I can fulfill my solemn oath to you, I'd leave you with a bit of a challenge. Last night, after having giggled to myself repeatedly and hysterically over this all day, I told LB that my new favorite word is bitchopotamus. Albeit it was out of nowhere and apropos of absolutely nothing, but he still looked at me like I'd just said I wanted to farm salamanders instead of having children.
Seriously. Bitchopotamus. Can you think of a word funnier than that?
That, amigos, is my challenge to you. Give me a word that's funnier than bitchopotamus, and I'll mail you cookies. I'll even raise that to a full two dozen cookies, because I just don't think there's a word out there that's funnier than that.
But I want you to try. Ready, set, bitchopotamus!
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5 comments:
Is your new DL one of the ri-frigging-diculous looking ones that has a see-through oval with a watermark of your face on it? A girl in my book club just got married and her new license looks like a student ID from a sci-fi movie.
(And the word verification is "choto", which reminds me of "choad", which I think is a penis that is wider (or as wide as) it is long. According to Nick, anyway.
Apropos of nothing FTW.
Greenarrhea........explosive green watery stool
As in - I have the Greenarrheas!!!!
is anything ever apropos of SOMETHING? I don't think I've ever heard anyone say something like "apropos of my greenarrheas, I should eat more fiber. and less radioactive nuclear waste."
I think something can be apropos of something else. Like you're talking about curtains, and you segue into talking about the carpet. The carpet topic is apropos of the discussion about the curtains.
Really, all I got out of that was "the carpet matches the drapes."
I've decided my favorite word is "tofurky". I've never actually had tofurky, but I see it in the grocery store a lot. It always makes me giggle.
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