First off, snaps to you, procrastination, for being so addictively delicious that I'm continually tanked off your lazy goodness. The Snaps To You Award will be issued every Friday...or as close to every Friday as my slow ass can get with it and rub two brain cells together till I make a fire.
And now, the real star of the show! Snaps to you, DIY Network, for blatantly ignoring the obvious Freudian connotations, and televising, for my viewing pleasure, a nightly segment called "Nailed At Nine." I can't quite remember, but I'm 99% positive that I attended a frat party by this same name in college. Therefore, I can only assume that "Nailed At Nine" involves matching t-shirts, Solo cups full of warm crappy beer, and roofies.
This is a fitting and appropriate addition to the DIY Network, which already bandies about the words "screw," "stud," and "male-female adapter" frequently enough to make me giggle like the eleven-year-old boy that I kinda still am, but with cuter shoes and the ability to frost a cake.
DIY Network: I'd totally be willing to do a 60-second tribute commercial to "Nailed At Nine," heralding their receipt of the S2U Award. It would do wonders for their viewership, AND I'd send you cupcakes. Well, roofiecakes. It's only fair.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment