Will Work For Fun

Generally speaking, and generally disregarding the days when I try to strangle myself with redaction tape, I enjoy my job. I work by myself, I get free herbal tea, and I have my very own office, complete with a real working door that opens and closes at my whim.

It should be noted that I would perform much less savory jobs, including “examiner of whale bladder function,” “Yankee Candle wax taste-tester,” and “personal assistant to Paris Hilton,” as long as I was guaranteed my own office.

Most of the people at my office are smiley, bland, and dazed enough to keep me on the functional side of spazzed out, but when the more aggressively ridiculous cubicle clowns ding my nerves one too many times, I can just close my aforementioned door and work in peace, prepare important legal documents, and bring forth a new creative masterpiece. Behold, legal work product!

I'm so glad that instead of troubling myself to learn Power Point (The Devil) or Excel (The Devil When Power Point Is Unavailable), I dedicated myself entirely to the mastery of MS Paint. Just the other day, proving that my employer had hired me for a reason other than to provide a continuous supply of cupcakes and pointy shoes, my skills finally paid off: The firm had put together a team to run a 10k this spring, and was taking suggestions for a design for a t-shirt we could all wear.

Alright fine, maybe they weren't actively soliciting suggestions. Maybe I just saw an opportunity to flex my creative muscles and bring joy to those around me. Whatever. I had a great idea for a t-shirt design, so I submitted it to the powers that be:

It was denied in favor of "Running From The Law." Clearly the committee needs to learn some MS Paint.

*While I did add the words to that picture, I did not create the picture itself. It came from the funniest blog ever written.